but then, NOT taking care of yourself can be even MORE expensive!!...I spent $12 in vitamins yesterday (I am now taking a multivitamin, a calcium supplement and vitamin C)...and spent $19 in enterntainment, to attend a friend's birthday...(i could have spent less if I hadn't had dinner there...)...I had a lot of fun and got to relax and be around GROWN UPS...REAL grown ups...(not the "legally adult" people I see at the office!...I mean, they are "adults" that, for the most part, are ~10 years younger than I am, living with their parents, they don't pay rent, food, utilities, all their money is for themselves...most only pay gas, as the cars were given to them by their parents as graduation gifts, so....NO, they are not "real" grown ups....)...we gathered for drinks at around 7, and sis and I left at around 8:30pm...so I didn't have to pay extra money to the nanny...

so, yesterday I spent a total of $21 in "maintenance"!! LOL!...But, I cannot afford to let this "machinery" (me!) break down!, can I??...and, well, the vitamins will last 1 month and the fun....well, that one'll have to last a bit longer!!...

Well, the request for the loan has been submitted...now all I can do is wait and pray ...One of my friends reports she has already been called!...Even if they don't authorize the full amount, I still win!!!...pray for me!!!

Well, I called up "our" bank executive today (the company has agreements with 2 banks), and, she said that with my salary I can get up to $8,000...I will meet with her on Wednesday to give her my acct statements and salary certification....since I went to DICOM, which is the local credit rating company, and my record doesn't look as bad as it really is (only 2 accounts appear as having been delinquent, when in reality I know there were more cc's that were delinquent!) and, since one of those 2 accounts has already been paid in full (I have my cancellation letter and everything!), I don't expect to have much trouble...It would be great because the interest rate would be 9.5% - special rate for our company- and the lowest cc is ~21%!!...
I hope to have good news to report on Friday (it usually takes about 2-3 days for them to tell you if you got the loan)...

says they are willing to consider re-classifying my position, so that I MAY be eligible for a raise!!...now, he also said not to get my hopes up just yet, as he still has to sit with them to redefine the position, see where they would be able to pay more and see what level of increment they are willing to offer...In the meantime, I continue to send out resumes whenever I see a good offer...Through it all, I know that God will do what is best for me and will either send me a better job, or see that I get a good-enough offer here...(If I get no offers from other places, I know He wants me to stay here!)...

Well, my cousin and I have been working on the 2005 toy catalogue to give to companies...instead of putting together a physical sample of toys, we are doing a CD and dropping that off at the companies....then, they can request which toys they specifically want to check out...that reduces our costs greatly (because we don't need more than 1 sample of each toy) and also allows us to cover more companies (as we don't have to wait to get the samples back before showing it to another company)...we'll see how we do this year...100% of any money I make on this will go towards debt repayment!!...I'm halfway done with my Xmas shopping anyway, so...

I still haven't heard from the job agency, or from the Embassy, but, I guess it's still early...

Well, I answered an ad placed by an employment agency and went in for an interview... I feel it went rather well, and that the guy doing the interview was impressed...I particularly feel that he thought he could get a good comission (they get paid based on the salary of the person being hired!) so that gives me hope...that was on Tuesday...then, yesterday, I got a call from the US Embassy to come in for testing regarding an application that I had sent a couple of weeks ago...I think I did well on the tests...One was a General Services one, with several questions on things like taking stuff out of customs, local labor laws, etc...and, although I found a couple of the questions a bit difficult, seeing how the other applicants seemed to have a hard time answering - and seeing that they found the English test hard, and I didn't - I think I might have an advantage...The only thing is, after we had finished the General SErvices test, a woman came in for the English test...and she was wearing an Embassy id badge...she already works there! - internal applicants have preference, of course...but, then, she is pregnat and due next week (she told someone else in the group), so, unless she's planning on a very early return to work, or they are planning on waiting for her to come back from maternity leave (3 months), I think I am still a good candidate...
We'll see...it would be a dream come true...the place is like 5 blocks from home, and the salary is 2X what I'm currently making!

PAID OUT bills!!....Sis and I have decided that this year we really, really won't give each other presents...I'll get my DD something and she'll get her DD something and that'll be it... What I'm going to give myself is PAID OUT cc bills...I'm going to make copies of the account statements and/or cancellation letters and make ornaments with them to hang on my Xmas tree!...that way, instead of feeling sad that I don't have presents, I can remember that I'm giving myself - and my daughter - a gift that is worth soooooo much more than anything we could buy!!
I have paid out 2 cc's already and, have made payment plans that will allow me to pay 1 more by December 15th and yet another one by January 30th...that'll still leave me plenty of debt to worry over the next 2 years or so (taking into account that my parent's farm money will run out on Dec, so payments will be lower and won't have such an impact...may even have to go back to min payments on the remaining cards)...
I have gone back to knitting for the $5,000 challenge and, tried to schedule a talk with my boss about my salary...he didn't answer, so I'll re-schedule (he was out of the office yesterday and has been in and out of meetings today)...I already know what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it...because, honest, I don't only NEED a pay raise (raise, not adjustment!) but also WANT a pay raise, and, more importantly, I DESERVE a pay raise!! I'll let you know what happens!

gas prices are affecting everything! I had my weekly grocery shopping down to $40 and, yesterday, I spent $53...in a lot less food than usual! ...and rising!...I don't know what I'm going to do...the worse thing is, I predict not much long will pass before the nanny asks for a raise - which would be compeletely understandable and deserved....I just don't have the money to give her any more than I'm already paying her!...doing without her is really not an option, as I have a 4 year old daughter.... I'm a single mom and, so is my sister, so, basically, there's noone else to take care of the kid...and, leaving her in daycare is $10 more expensive than paying for the maid!....and it would mean I would HAVE to leave the office before 5 every day - not an option!... We have managed to bring the water bill down to $9 (used to be $20) and, are currently working on the electricity and phone bills...phone will be difficult, due my niece...electricity, the house is just SO DARK!...we have changed the lightbulbs that are used the most for energy saving ones - we hate the kind of light they give - and left "normal" lightbulbs only in our rooms and bathrooms - used from 7pm on...

The people from the ad for freelance teachers called!! I have an interview on Saturday at 8:50am!!!....I'll drop DD off early at church and then go to the interview...I hope that I can pick her up on time to go to the swimming lessons...
I KNOW I can get that extra job!!...and, the place is about 8 blocks from work, so if I'm going to be teaching from 6-7pm (hours I listed as available), I can leave work at 5:30pm and have plenty of time to get there! (I generally leave work at 6:00 or 7:00pm (my schedule is supposed to be 8:00 to 5:00, but in reality it's more like 8:30-whenever....so I could compensate by arriving at 8:00 sharp and perhaps taking 45 minutes for lunch instead of 1 hour!) woooo-hooo! ....wish me luck!

Well, I'm still looking into opportunities for extra income...today, I answered an ad in the paper offering positions for freelance English teachers...it said you could apply for M-F to teach from 6-7pm, so I did...the only thing is, it said Native English Speakers, but, I'm hoping they overlook that, given my level of English proficiency and, also, given that I DO have experience teaching English...will see what happens....

Well, I've been working on my excel file to see what is the fastest that I can be debt free - without consolidating loans, because right now my credit score is just awful! The soonest is March 2008...not bad, but, not too good, either...however, this is a plan that I can actually live with - I'll have to find an alternate source of income, and I need about $250 extra a month, but, still, it's much better than the ~$750 that I'm using right now!!...true, I know there are many factors that I haven't taken into account - like inflation rate or the probability that the school I choose for Ale will raise their monthly fees - but, at least it's a plan and a plan means something to shoot for... Another thing is that I have kept my Xmas bonus and vacation bonus at the same rate as it is today, and I know those increase every year, according to seniority (also, thinking about things if I stay here, with the same salary...)...so, I guess that evens out the math a bit... The important thing is, I feel I can do this now, I don't feel overwhelmed anymore...Hopefully, that old feeling won't be back!
Thanks to all for your cheers and for sharing my happiness with me!

We signed....I saw the cheque! I held it in my hands!! I signed it so we could deposit it...(it's from another bank! )...it should clear by Friday!!! ....I'm already doing my numbers and, if everything goes right, I will go around town on Saturday afternoon, bringing accounts up to date, and even cancelling 1 credit card! (the one with the highest interest rate!!)...

Of course, by Monday, I'll be "poor" again, but, just think....I won't owe ~$16K anymore!! ("only" about ~$11K!)

I'll be able to breathe that much more easily!!

Tonight, we'll open a bottle of wine at home!!

Tomorrow, I'm back to work figuring out how to make some more $$$ to pay off those debts!!

before they hatch...since we are supposed to sign the apt sale today at 10:00 am (will it happen?? I'll let you know!)...I took out my excel file and have been looking at the current debt level/APR's/overdue debt/overdrawn accts, etc, to try to calculate how to make the most "damage" - the latest "plan" I had for this money is at least 3 months old!....I think I can bring everything up to date and still pay in full the cc with the highest interest rate!!...yipee-yay!... I have also distributed the farm money for the next 4 months so that the cc's with the highest interest rates...
also, I discovered (or, rather, remembered! - how easy it is to forget when you prefer not to remember!!)that I cannot take into account the farm payment for January (the last one!) because I have been living off my account's authorized overdraft...(OUCH, I know!), so I would have to leave that $$ in there....because my salary does NOT cover the overdraft!! If I don't leave that money there, come March I would not have access to my salary!!....

So, it has been a good exercise...we'll see if this thing actually goes through!!...I'll keep you all posted on that, and also on the progress with debt repayment!! -woo-hoo!!

I can't believe it!! The real estate agent called day before last to say the buyer (yes, the same one from last OCTOBER) had finally received the loan from the bank....Obviously, I was ...but, today he brought me a copy of the bank letter of approval... :O (I need a fainting smiley!)... ex-hubby is not in the country, so we would have to wait until MOnday to sign the papers/get the money, but, still... I'm like
I won't believe it until I have the money in my account...Of course, I will see $0.00 of it, as it will all go towards debts....well, no, I'm lying, I told my (2) friends that I would take them out for sushi if this ever happened, so, let's be honest about it and say I'll probably blow about $50 in celebration...but, still...add this to my parents farm money and to my vacation and Xmas bonus money and, I might actually be able to bring my debts to a level where I'll be able to manage it next year (without the farm money)... ::yipeee::

I'll let you know once this becomes a reality (IF it does!)

Once again, T H A N K Y O U , G O D!!!!

Payday is finally here!! ....I get to pay some debts, and, luckily, I have $30 in coupons for the supermarket - which I need to get from the coupon-issuer and, that means I have $30 more to pay to the cc!! woo-hoo!

No news on the apartment, but, I'm hopeful!!

I was thinking about selling my car, but, seeing how gas prices are rising, I don't think that would be such a great idea (I know it sounds silly, but, given the mileage I get, I'm better off keeping it!!...)

We cleaned up the storage room and "found" our Tiffany lamps (authentic)...Dad put them away in 2001 after the earthquakes, he was afraid they might fall and get smashed...I'm researching before selling mine!! - which I have always loved, even as a child but, let's be honest: 1. I need the money and 2. I don't have a dining room grand enough to show it off (it has a fruit motive)...we'll see...

I checked Hacienda's website today and my income tax return has been approved and is pending deposit into my account!! woo-hoo!!...it's $249, which will go to my landlady (I still owe her $440, - the $249= $191!!)...I'll be "on time" with her by the end of the year and can start Jan '06 "clean" with her!! woo-hoo!

OK, so I've been going over my numbers again and, while I WILL be in a tight financial situation, it is not going to be as awful as I thought...Yes, the sale of the apt will only take care of about a1/4 of the total debt, but, the $750 a month for the next 5 months will take care of another big chunk, add to that my Xmas bonus and vacation $$ + my income tax return (if it ever arrives!) and I'll have the debt down to about 1/2 of its present size...now, if you take into account that the current debt is made up of several small (yeah, right!) debts, and that, obviously, some of those will be paid in full with the sale money and the Xmas bonus, well....I think I might just make it...it won't be easy, and it won't be pretty, but, I KNOW I can make it...Now, if I can get myself from panicking, maybe I can keep myself from drowning (financially!)....

This past week I de-cluttered my home, re-painted my bedroom (my niece had it painted purple, and had added some graffitti!) in a very light sky-blue...it looks cleaner, lighter, and even larger!!...I also identified 34 books that might be put up for sale...and DD identified a lot of toys that SHE wants to sell...also threw away some toys that were just too broken to even consider giving away or selling ... I also took the time to put my accounts in order and, this is where/when the panick set in...I'm barely making payments NOW, and, come February, my parent's money from the sale of the farm will be gone... we are talking about $750/month!! AND, the debt will NOT be gone by then...I desperately need some additional STABLE income (don't get me wrong, I'll take occasional income, too, such as translations, selling toys and school supplies with my cousin, etc, but, I definetely need something stable, too!!) If the apartment ever sells, that will be a great help, but, still, what I'd get wouldn't even cut the debt in half...I'm really, really worried now!! - and, trying to generate ideas as fast as I can, which I guess is good...now, if only I would go a step further and implemented those ideas!! ((sigh))

I am still waiting for the apartment to sell....and for my income-tax return...SO, in view of that, I have decided NOT to wait until Sept to take out a loan from the co-op, but re-finance the one I have right now (which I only have one more installment to pay, on June 15th, for $27), and ask for a new loan ($500)...with this, I will be able to bring 3 accts up to date (and, the total minimum payment on all 3 would be left at $250!)...barring any other "unexpected" expenses (car repairs, illness, etc), I should be able to bring other 2 accts up to date, and to start making payments on yet another again...not the best financial situation, but slightly better than being late with ALL...total minimum payment for those 2 would be about $200...I'm slowly getting to the point where I will be able to make ALL miminum payments each month...not the best, but certainly better...(yes, this has become my mantra! even the smallest step forward is progress!!)...Once the apartment sells...well, that will be another story...depending on how much is left (after paying for small repairs to the apt and for the Real Estate broker's fee, and other such things, including a loan from my ex!), then I will 1st bring EVERYTHING up to date and then, see what can be paid off with what is left over and will just CLOSE the accounts!! never, ever, ever again will I be in such a financial hole! I have promised myself this!!...I have made "happy numbers" as my cousin calls it (meaning you are optimistic and use the best possible scenario) and I could be free of debt as soon as end of 2007...Of course, "unhappy numbers" carry those debts well over 2009....so, to give myself hope, I will continue to think happy numbers and aim for 2007!!
I know I have probably posted about this before, probably even using the same numbers and same sing-song, so forgive me, but I hope this time is for real!

By the way: someone posted a message to me reminding me of airline safety: Put on your oxygen mask on first, else you won't be able to help others...I just want to say THANK YOU...it was an epiphany!!...you made me see 400% more clearly!! THANKS!!...I'm following your advice! Instead of using that $$ for my sis, I'll use it for myself, to improve my financial situation...if she needs help down the road, I will be in better position to supply it...in the eantime, since I'm doing the grocery shopping, I'm tightening our belts (I spent ~$40 this week - her money, it was supposed to be her turn to shop- instead of the ~$75 that she had budgeted!!...true, our pantry is not as stocked as we are used to, but it isn't empty by any standards!...we have what wee need, no surplus!!)

Wish me luck!

This is a local manufacturer of clothes...they have great things for kids, 100% cotton, durable....mostly t-shirts and knit shorts/pants and pajamas....and they have Disney, Mattel and Sanrio licenses (yay!!) www.stjacks.com/ninos.htm ...twice a year, they have a 50% off sale...of course, the new lines don't get put on sale, only the "old ones" (so, I cannot get the beautiful My Melody things right now, but I will in December....and, right now I can buy anything with The Incredibles!!!) I love it that they have this sale in mid-May, because I always get DD a set of skorts/t-shirt and a pajama, which I then save for her birthday in the end of June...This stuff generally goes for around $14 for a pajama and up to $20 for a set....so I can get both things for about $17 -$20....the other sale is near November, so I buy things for Xmas ....
I will also see if they have a pajama set for me...I haven't bought myself pajamas in 4 years!! I'll update this entry later with what I buy and how much it cost!

****
woo-hoo! I bought a Princess & Pauper night-gown for $6.75, a Violet (Incredibles) glittery t-shirt for $4.00, but, the best was an Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) set of t-shirt and pants for $3.88!!!
I didn't buy anything for myself, though...but, I will try to do it next week (lowest priced one was $7.00 and the most expensive one was $9.58....the ones I want are atound $7.50...)

I'm so happy with myself!!...yesterday night, I checked for any leftovers to take to work today, and what I found wasn't really appetizing...but I was too tired to cook, so I decided I'd make a sandwich in the morning (I HATE day-old sandwiches...they really aren't as "fluffy")...and, today, I really wasn't in the mood for a sandwich, so I thought: oh, I'll just BUY food...but then, I rememberd, I had already bought food once this week....so, I reconsidered and decided to bring that last piece of fried chicken and a bit of rice...I added the last piece of Monterrey Jack cheese to make it more appealing...I am craving fresh things lately, so I will buy an apple or something as dessert... I feel good!

Monday - $2.50 / lunch (I forgot my lunch in my sister's car! ugh! how stupid can one get??)
Tuesday - $60.90 / groceries **
Wednesday- $50.00 / car repair (again! the water pump this time! aaaargh!)
Thursday- $5.00 / gas
Friday- $14.63 / clothes for DD (1 pj, 1 t-shirt & pants set, 1 t-shirt)
Saturday - $2.50 / fruit at the market place- watermelon, papaya and plums
Sunday - $1.50/ goodies at the flea market (went there to sell some things)

**my cousin has found a great meat supplier: the meat is tender and very high quality, and, about $0.70/lb less than the supermarket....these people sell to the hotels and restaurants only, but the owner of the place is a friend of my cousin's family, who heard about the hard times she's going through and decided to help her!...so, he is allowing her to buy the meat at cost, and has also not restricted the amount that she buys, which means she can buy it to re-sell and make a profit.... She also got us Quaker bagged cereals at $0.50 a bag...I saw them on sale at the supermarket and they were $1.83....We help each other out in any way we can...not much of a safety net, being as broke as we are...but...

aaarghhh!!! ....so, this guy calls me today, and he says they are very worried about my payments (or, rather, lack therof!)...I explaiined to him: call me on the 15th, I don't know how much money I will have available...and he says: "don't you know how much you earn?, most of us have at least an idea..."....And I said: "Yeeees, but, I don't know how I will be using it, or if anything will be discounted directly from my account, so I don't know how much I will have available for your company...sorry if you don't like to hear that, but it is the truth!"...so, he says: "either way, we would like to get a committment from you as to how much you are going to pay!"...."I told you already: I don't know"..."still, you should make a committment..." "BYE!"...This is one of the main reasons why I want the apartment sold, so I can pay all overdue debt and be FREE of this phone calls!!...they are very draining!!....Hopefully, I will manage to have the money by the end of April/beginning of May....so that I will at least only have "current" debts by the start of June!!....I need more money!!!
Dear God, if you are listening: send me a nice fat translation work THAT PAYS!! (last month I had a huge translation, but it was for the office, so it was for "free" - meaning no extra money aside from my normal salary, for which I am grateful, eventhough it is less than what I was making at my previous job!!)

I finished my income tax declaration and, according to me, the government owes me $274!!...I will submit it right after the holidays, so I should be getting my money in 2 months or so!...the $274 will go towards paying my Kismet (local dept store) acct...while it won't cover the whole amount I owe, it will make a significant difference...and this is one of the highest interest rate cards!!

So, my cousin took a sample of our tamales to a Hotel on Friday...they said to call on Sunday to find out whether they'll want to buy from us or not...but they were in meetings all morning on Saturday, and today, when she called, we were asked to call tomorrow, as they are having inventory...I hate waiting!
I hope this deal comes through, though, as it would mean at least 2 orders per week (for ~200 each!, ~$64 for each of us per month....still not a fortune, but considerably more than what we are getting right now...)

a friend of my niece's was selling caps at $20 each...we found them downtown at $7 each...my niece saw an opportunity...we managed to get 5 hats for $6 each, and, she sold them to her friend at $13 each, so he can still make a profit (she didn't tell him we got them downtown, she told them they had been sent to her as a gift from someone in the US and that she didn't quite like them....she bought 2 for herself, so she told him she only kept those 2...)My niece let my cousin and I keep the profit and, was content with saving on her hats and, with the promise that we can take her downtown any time she wants (where she can get a lot more value from her money, and still astonish her friends!...a lot of what's sold there is trash, but, you get the occasional treasure, and she has a great eye for fashion!)
So, my cousin and I both got $17.50 that we didn't anticipate!! woo-hoo!...It'll go to one of my credit cards (there's one where minimum payment is $50....)
I have also managed to reduce my cell phone usage to the point where I can make a $5 card last 2 weeks!...that means $10 a month, when before I was using $35-$39!!! the $25 "saved" will also go to this cc, so I now have $42 out of the $50!!!...I feel rich!!
Of course, there's always something to burst your bubble!...I just got a call from a cc company...(not the one with the $42...ANOTHER one!...) ((sigh))
Let's make a few phone calls and see who'll want tamales for this weekend! - hope I get a lot more orders than last week!!

we are diversifying, we have added 'espumillas' (meringues) at $0.50 (leaving us a $0.15 profit!) and are trying to introduce shrimp cocktails...that is going to be more difficult, as they sell for $4...it is way easier for someone to part with 0.50 or with 1 dollar than with 4...but, if we make it...we make $1.50 on each cocktail!!! (at least, people now know we also sell cocktails...maybe next week!)

yesterday I had a call from the Real Estate broker...he says there's someone interested...let's hope interested enough to actually buy the apartment!!...

I have to decide which bills to pay (I can't pay them all, unless I either win the lottery or find oil in my backyard- no, wait, I'm renting, so that wouldn't solve anything!)...
so, now I have to decide which bills to pay and which to leave pending...which ones will cause the less harm....I hate living like this!! (I know, I know, I brought it on myself!)...but, it's still tough!

((sigh))...If only I could make this thing with selling tamales outside the church work...if my numbers are right (and something tells me I AM), that could mean $80- $110 more per month...decidedly worth the effort...I just need to think and pray on this and I know God will send me the right answer....I know the idea is good...but, I need a better plan to execute it...maybe try a different church...maybe a different hour... definetely a colorful banner for advertising...think, think, think, as Winnie the Pooh used to say!

well, we only made $11.50 each this month (January), but, we have the following things figured out:
1. our net profit per tamal is $0.08 (divided by 2 = $0.04 for each of us)
2. to pay for DD's psychologist, I need about $40-$50 per month
3. We need to sell 1,000/ month to make $40
4. We need to sell 250/week to reach the 1,000/month
5. 250/week is DOABLE (we sold 208 this last weekend!)
6. tamales sell really well at the flea market, but you have to be there very early (7:00am at the latest) as most of your customers will not be there to buy, but to sell (they arrive at 4:30, so they are hungry by 6:30 or so!)
7. chicken and corn tamales are the most popular with this segment of the population, the "offfice" people are pretty even between chicken and chipilin, with less going for the corn variety

So, all in all, it hasn't been a bad month! I need to call up 5 new people (that's my goal for this week) to tell them about the tamales...I can contact 2 people in purchasing and 2 at the Help Desk...who'll be my 5th victim??

I also have to figure out what else to do to get some more money coming in!!! I was already struggling before and, the tamales seem to be working only to keep things at the level they were before!!