Mom had to be admitted to the hospital last week. It shows how broke we are that we put her in a public hospital...so awful...visiting hours are 12-2 and 5-7 only....this is the worst news of the week, of course, but, to top it off, my car wouldn't start this morning...the battery is new, and the lights, blinker, windshield wipers, alarm and horn were working, so it might be the starter...or some other bug in the electrical system....I have friends that are mechanics, but none is a specialist in electrical systems, so I'd rather not risk frying in my car...I have to get a pro!...
the hotel did not want our tamales...
AND, the lesser of all evils plaguing me, our shower broke (we can use the children's bathroom), and the light in the children's bathroom went off (the lightbulb "died", but then, it is STUCK in there...we can't remove it to install a new one!...)
I want a new life!

I took my boss' shopping list down to the supermarket (due to the structure of our unit, you can say I have 9 bosses: 1 VP, 2 Directors and 9 Project Managers....besides the normal admin assist stuff, I am also in charge of the houses)....this is my latest effort to NOT have to deal with the maid!! (meaning, I don't want to have to call her twice a week to get a grocery list, I do not want to have to translate said list and I do not have to keep getting calls from the maid explaining that she can't cook/clean because she hasn't received the groceries yet!...which is what happens when I give them the list so they go to the store!)...I made a super-duper list, with quantities and brands and everything...I made 20 copies and sent it to the maid...now all she has to do is tick off what she needs...then send it to me, then I will take it down to the supermarket (there's a supermarket on the first floor of the building) and they will fill out the order, call me when it's ready, one of the PM's will go pay for it, then the supermarket will make the delivery...end of my involvement! ...anyway, getting to the pictures, it is a special promotion the supermarket has, that if you spend more than X amount, you get a coupon for a picture...they got 4 coupons, and, since they buy so much, they got 4 coupons...and, since they really don't have any use for them, my boss let me have them!! I gave 2 to the other admin and kept 2 for myself!!
Will go this weekend for a picture of DD and one of DD and myself!
How fun!!

well, we couldn't get one on loan...we checked with various churches and charities and, also with friends...my sister found one at $80....she's on her way to get it now...
I had to give her the last $60 for that, so now we don't even have enough for groceries this weekend...It'll have to wait until Monday (which is payday)...and I know Mom is going to give me grief over not bringing her anything this weekend (no juices, no sodas, no candy...) It is so hard, sometimes...this doesn't make things any easier when trying to explain to DD that WE have no money for sodas, and juices and candy....and then she sees me take money out of my pocket to pay for this stuff for Mom...I have told her many times, this is HER money...but, does DD really understand??
I hope so!

Talk about feeling rotten!...a while ago I was envying my best friend for her luck in having a higher-paying job, and having finished paying off her loan...well, turns out she's losing her job in 2 months (they couldn't secure any new donors for the ONG she works for, so they have to close!)...she's sending out resumes like crazy, trying to find something else....and, sending letters like crazy to try to find donors that might make a miracle happen and keep them open!...it's tough, though...been there, done that!...she's soooo stressed! (kind of like me a year ago!!)...my financial problems are far from over, but, sadly, I went past the point of desperation (where I would stay up all night because I couldn't meet minimum payments on the cards, etc) to the point of acceptance (I just CAN'T, so I juggle the payments and live with the fact that I'm ruining my credit!...and with the fact that it will take me 5 years to rebuild it!...what else can I do?? I already sell my mind when I do translations, I have traded my rest/family time so I may make a few extra dollars...unless they take blood for payment, I have nothing to offer!)...
Anyway...back to my friend. She's a single mom, just like me, except she lives with her mom and dad...until very recently (this week) she always thought if things got really bad, she would ask her parents for help while she found a job...but, turns out her dad has had problems lately and is broke!...so, her parents actually would need their support! (she has 3 sisters)....my friend has her son enrolled in one of the top 5 schools in the country (also one of the 3 most expensive ones!)...with the school year ending in June, she would have to switch him to another school if she can't find a high-paying job...it's difficult for her to even consider this, because a) she went there and b) he's on the shy side, and it took him almost 1.5 years to adapt and finally like the school!...Again, been there, done that!...I, too, went to one of those top 5 schools (different one!)...but, I accepted the fact that I cannot enroll DD there, so I just swallowed hard and went to look for what I would consider an "acceptable" one...
More and more people are falling into hard times...I hate it! Life is becoming dreary!

DD wants to learn to surf...that is her "lifelong" dream (she's 4!, but has expressed this desire ever since she was able to talk articulately)....she knows that swimming lessons are a pre-requisite and that, no, just having the right motions with your arms while standing on solid ground does not qualify her as a true swimmer!....I called in January, just to check how much the swimming lessons would be ...they are $15/month...not expensive, really, just not affordable right now (debt takes priority over 'elective classes' at this point...debt takes priority over most anything, except for food, shelter, health and school right now!)....she would need a swimsuit, a towel, goggles and a cap....she has the swimsuit and the towel (as she insists on pointing out!) and she found the goggles at a thrift store for $1.25/pair....no, we didn't buy them...I'd have to quote on the cap... and, finding a cap that is able to contain all that hair!! (lovely curly hair, at that!) would be difficult....((sigh)) maybe in a couple of months!!

I can't believe it! my sister left a bundle (literally) of money she needed to pay for my niece's school ($480) in her purse, and it somehow fell out and the puppy got to it...we found the puppy in the garden, munching happily at the plastic cover my sister had used for the money....and found only 20 $20 bills...or $400...
I really doubt the puppy ate the money, because there should at least be tiny bits of paper, shouldn't there? ....anyway...we have to be more careful (after all, you really can't blame a puppy for behaving like a puppy...and we all know this puppy is addicted to paper!)...I'm sad for my sister, but, there's really nothing I can do about it...and, in any case, at first she thought she might have lost it at the mall, so finding $400 is better than $0, right??

((sigh)) as if we needed any more money problems!!

right now I'm envious of my best friend....she just finished paying off her personal loan and will now have $400 "free" each month...(envious in a good way, I'm happy for her!)...She mentioned she tried to talk to one of the cc companies to start doing fixed monthly payments, and they gave her a lot of trouble, so I told her to just forget about it and just use those $400 to pay off that cc....she said she hadn't thought about it, but that she could close the account in 2 months if she did!...(lucky girl!)...I need to talk to her...she has worked with international ONG's the past 12 years and, only 1 year in the "private" sector...so she has not been affiliated to the National Pension Fund system....which means there's only 1 year worth of contributions in her retirement account!!...I will try to convince her to pay off the credit cards this year, and then use at least half of those $400/month to put towards retirement, if not in the AFP system, in some other way...She's smart, so I know she'll consider it...
I just have a bit more practice dealing with money situations...in the ONG's her salary was a lot higher, and no deductions were made to it!! - lucky girl!!

Well, I'd say DD is "getting it" about being careful with money...yesterday, we went to the re-hab center where my nephew is and, as usual, she asked for a soda (she always asks for something or other) and I gave her $1 and told her she'd be given some change...she still can't add or substract....but, then my niece wanted a soda and I told her to go and ask for it and just tell the guy collecting the money that he should take it from DD's money...well, DD came to me very upset, because they had refused to give her her change...I explained to her that it was because she had bought C's soda and she said: "I didn't. She bought a soda all by herself, I didn't get one for her!"...so I explained that they had charged it to her and not to worry,as I would give her some more money if she wanted something else (she asked for another soda later on....I'm thinking about establishing a $1 or $1.50 per visit for her, as opposed to buying her anything she wants...that way, she'll have to think about what she wants to buy...)...
Later on, N. - who was in charge of collecting the money that day (residents are not allowed to handle money until they reach a certain level, so you don't pay the people manning the shop directly!) came to me and said: Wow! I thought Ale was going to hit me if I didn't give her her money! - just an expression, she was very aggressive about getting her change, but was not violent or inpolite, just very very insistent! (good consumer, defending her rights!)....N's a very gentle guy, I like him a lot...I guess his mom would have a surreal moment if I said this to her, but, he seems to be such a "centered" person...(yes, he's a resident, too, so I KNOW he's not really a centered person....just learning to be, as all of the others are)...you can really see the difference in them from the time they come into the program...I hope some day someone will look at my nephew and think him a well centerd person, too!! - although, our family is way too crazy for anyone of us to be considered "centered"...LOL!
After the visit was over, DD asked why the residents - and her cousin, specifically - were not allowed to handle money - she has sometimes taken R to the shop, and SHE's in charge of the money, and knows she shouldn't let him touch it!...guards it really well, too! -and I explained to her that he's not allowed because he still doesn't know how to handle it, because he wastes it in things that are bad for him....she looked at me and said: "you know who else can't handle money? Grandma!" ....(great insight! Mom just loves to spend!)...
and, she was going on and on about how she's the only child in her class that is allowed to buy her own fruits and veggies at the marketplace..."all other kids just go with their mommies, but I buy my own food!" LOL!...I hope she's learning!

I got a call from the Home today...saying Mom wants some more juice boxes...I delivered 9 of them on Monday...I told them sorry, make a list and I'll call Friday to get it and bring the stuff on Saturday when I go visit...Mom has never been mindful of the fact that we don't have the time (she never "worked"...she helped my Dad with the store some times, but, mostly, she went to her sewing group...she can't see that getting out early from work everyday or just skipping an hour or two in the afternoon can cause you real trouble!)...plus, I HATE going to the supermarket...plus it is EXPENSIVE to go to the supermarket more than once a week...(see previous post)...plus, it is extra fuel to go there...and it's not like I'm swimming in money right now - I would think that's rather obvious!!...
I know that, even if I buy stuff in bulk and bring it over, she'd still be making them call me in the middle of the week...because it's not about the stuff...it's about the attention...Mom cannot live unless she takes center stage...she's always done that...I'm guessing she's telling them how rotten I am even as I type!! ....
In case you're wondering: no, our relationship was NEVER good...

well, this one was more encouraging...basically, if I pay $7 today, I'll be ok with them...to bring the account up to date would be $33...might as well be $300, I can't pinch $33 right now...but, $7.00 is doable...
The real estate guy showed up today and already took the documents he needs to put the house up for sale...says he'll be in touch (he'd better, or else I'll be in touch!!...)
sis is sick today, the Dr. says she's gotta stay home for 3 days...it's her lungs and throat...she asked me to go to the supermarket and buy her some lemons and honey...I wish I could say that I managed to go in and buy ONLY the lemons and honey...but I bought a can of dog food....((sigh))...good thing I had only brought a $5 bill ....

I know there isn't such a word, but, believe me, that's what Mom is "un-frugal" as can be....she's been in the Home for 8 days, and, not counting clothes and other stuff she needed to get into the place (we hadn't gone to get her stuff at the old house yet), just in snacks and candies and other treats (meals are included in the price she pays per month), I've already spent $29 (of her own money)...and this is that I bring stuff in limited quantities...I do not want to imagine how she spent when there was noone to put a stop to what she was doing (she loves buying in bulk...even perishables!!...you can't imagine how much food we threw away!!)....on potato chips, fruit juice, candies, tamales, crackers, sardines and deviled ham...now she wants pastries and other stuff...
I know it's her money, and that's why I buy these things which for me and my child are luxuries (and which I never bought in large amounts anyway, as they are not good for my daughter...or me!), but, still, it hurts me that she can be so oblivious to our living standards....she wants to live the high life like she did when she was young and the family was rolling in money....she doesn't care if that means we end up pennyless....(because, after her money is gone, guess who'll end up supporting her??...the way we did when she didn't have income for 2 years.....I have had people say to me: so? it's her problem, don't make it yours....and, believe me, if she were younger, I might go along with it...but, she's 80...she has no insurance, no savings, no nothing...only my sister and me....my half-siblings? they were my father's children, and we haven't heard from them since we sent them copies of the invoices for the funeral expenses - which they requested we send them)...

I hate going to the mall....wait! did I say that?? Did I actually think, then write that I HATE going to the mall?...can that be true??...uhmmm, yes, it is....I used to looooove going to the mall!! Now I hate it...it's temptation-land out there!!....they have opened a huge mega book store right next to the food court!..You have no idea how much will power it took to get away from the window...they have put the children's section right at the entrance, and you get a view of all those wonderful, colorful books as you (try) to walk by!!...on the next window, they have the best-sellers....how cruel can they be?? today, their door was decorated imitating the cover of the latest Isabel Allende book!!...I almost had a heart attack!! (can you tell I'm a bookworm, er book lover?)...but, I managed to survive and not buy anything (of course, it helps that I go there with only $5, $2 for my lunch and $3 for any incidentals....like during the holidays, when none of the specials were available!!)...
I spent my $1.99 and have already put the $0.01 in my jar...I counted the money in it, so that I can really see what I've put in by the end of the week...right now, I have $0.56....Hey, $6 a month pays my share of the "security fee" at the place where we live (each house pays $12/month for 24-hour armed guards at the entrance/exit of the complex)....$10 pays the minimum payment on my department-store credit card....
Hopefully, I won't have to go to the mall again this week! (but, I do have to go to the supermarket to get some things for Mom!...she still hasn't realized- or, rather, she refuses to acknowledge- how much I hate going to the supermarket...and, no, that is something that I've always hated...ever since I was about 12, that is!