is getting ugly...sis has actually prohibited cousin from entering our house (conveniently for HER, she did not bother to mention this to cousin when they were talking on the phone, but expects me to tell her/enforce it!...er, NO! this is THEIR problem)- don't get me wrong, I think sis is right in being mad, and, although she DID put herself in this situation by co-signing with cousin (just like I DID put myself in a bad situation by installing that phone line in her house under MY name), cousin's actions have been wrong. Still, I don't think it is fair to ask me to be the go-between.

This unfortunate situation may be just what cousin needs, though, to finally wake up to the reality that she's lost all her friends/family through bad money management... How so?...well, let's start with family: we don't have too many relatives - actually, we do, just not that many that we are close enough to ask for help, when her parents divorced, her mom decided the family had no right to see the kids...since my Mom was a total meddler - bless her heart- she kept going to my aunt's house to see the kids with the excuse of bringing veggies, fruit and cold meats from our store...her Mom's family is from another country, so she doesn't have close relatives here on that side, either...
There was 1 aunt who used to help her with her son's school tuition (this aunt used to pay for half the tuition, but decided to cancel her offer of help after being told on more than one occasion at school that cousin was behind with payments of her part of the tuition)... 2 she alienated cousin M, who offered financial help (lent her $1k at 3% annual interest, payable in 3 months to use as investment money for the toy season about two years ago...she took 1 year to pay it back...meaning she did not repay him immediately after getting paid for the toys!) 3. Me. Need I say more than what you already know? I still go into business with her, yes, but I don't lend her money, nor my credit or my name for anything in which I am not personally involved - and, given the results from the translation work, I've even considered withdrawing from that "partnership" 4. Sis. This problem with cousin's car first raised its ugly head a year ago...when sis got calls from the bank stating since she co-signed and since cousin was behind on payments, they would start docking her salary for the car payments...this was supposedly fixed: cousin refinanced her loan on the house (through a shark loan!) and supposedly got enough money to pay the remainder of the loan...I don't know what she did, but, apparently, she only paid the overdue amount and left the rest outstanding...until last month, when sis was denied a new loan she wanted to take to consolidate her debts based on cousin's outstanding car loan...
As it stands now, cousin would have to pay $800 just to bring that loan up to date enough that she could ask to re-finance it and making it into a new loan which would NOT have sis as a co-debtor... and she whines she doesn't have the $800 but says she could make payments of $50/month...if that is the case, why didn't she make those payments during these past 12 months?...Because, as long as nobody is knocking on her door, she doesn't really care! (that's the conclusion we have reached, anyway)...

It all reminds me of something my Grandma used to say: "don't (call them) 'poor' people, they'll end up believing it". Why? Because it gives me the impression that she feels that, because we have "steady jobs" while she is "on her own" (a.k.a: 'poor' her), we don't need the money as much as she does...and that it is "mean" of us to expect her to have money to pay her creditors amounts that "even we" with our steady incomes cannot pay....

Honest, I think in her mind, the reasoning must go something like this:

"oh, poor me, I don't have a steady job, and I work on my own, so it's more difficult for me to pay for my expenses than it is for my cousins who both have steady jobs/ good salaries. To be able to pay, I'd have to lose the house. I don't want to lose my house; they cannot expect me to lose my house. The house is my #1 priority. And, they cannot expect me to lose/ sell the car, either, my livelihood is tied to the car, surely they cannot expect me to lose the car. And, certainly, with all the deprivation that I endure, I am entitled to at least SOME fun, they cannot expect me to give up the cable TV. And, the internet connection costs so little, $15, really, since it is bundled with the cable, surely they don't want me to give up THAT...plus, the whole package is ONLY $50...and I need to pay $800, so $50 really makes no difference. And, I have so many other expenses...what with me having to have lunch out of the house, and not because I want to, but because sometimes I'm out on sales calls or trying to get new customers and I just go out at such horrible hours that I cannot make it home for lunch...and, since I wasn't home to make lunch, surely I have to bring my child some bought food. They cannot expect me to starve, or not to feed my child. And, after all, I don't even buy expensive food, but fast food. That is what? $3- $6? No, surely they cannot expect me to give THAT up" - you get the drift! SHE's the victim!

SO: this is where we stand right now. Can you tell I've had it?