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going to the lawyer's on Tuesday

June 30th, 2006 at 03:06 pm

Well, I have to go to the lawyer's to try to keep them from docking my pay over the phone bill (which effectively means I will be paying MORE than if they were docking my pay, but, at least my record won't show that they had to resort to this! -- plus the people at payroll in the company don't have to see it!) AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH
I just called my cousin and told her she IS coming with me and her son IS coming with us, as well....I know there won't be any consequences for him and I know he couldn't care less about my pay (in fact, I think he might even feel some sort of satisfaction that the B*tch is having trouble! -- I'm sure that's how his pampered mind perceives me!), but, I want him to at least have to FACE the lawyer and own up to what he did, and see that there ARE consequences...won't do much good because the consequences don't affect HIM, so he won't care, but...AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHH!

4 Responses to “going to the lawyer's on Tuesday”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    Do you have anything like small claims court in your country? A judgement rendered against him might put the fear of God into the kid. I know he's your family but he just sounds like an enormous brat who doesn't have to deal with the consequences of his actions. One day he's going to have to.

  2. miclason Says:

    I imagine there must be...but, I doubt they'd do anything against a minor...if anything, they'd go after my cousin...and, we know how much HE cares about THAT!, the consequences have to hit HIM directly, or else there's no use...
    However...his actions finally caught up with him on another front: he's being expelled from school for his bad's a private school, so they CAN do it... he was put on probation at the beginning of the year because of his bad grades last year, and, has shown no interest/made no efforts to improve --eventhough he's repeating 9th grade, so the material should be familiar to him! --well, since he flunked ALL his subjects AGAIN this trimester, the school states he will not pass the grade and, is against keeping him (his grades have been so bad, even if he got 100's in both the next trimesters, he'd STILL flunk!) cousin received/relayed this news to him yesterday...NOW he's all worried and asking "mom, what am I going to do? ...where am I going to study next year?"... There's nothing she can do about it now, until next year (non-bilingual schools here go from Jan-Nov)...I guess it's public school for him, now...and, that's IF he enrolls himself...he finally got my cousin to the point where she's not willing to help him with this anymore...we'll see, this MIGHT be just what he needs to "wake up" from his Little Prince dream!

  3. LuckyRobin Says:

    Personally, if this were my kid, I'd take away everything. I'd take away all TV, even if I had to lock it up, any video game machines, the computer, anything in his room that is a privilege. Strip his room down to the essentials. Leave him with a functional set of plain sheets and a blanket (but a plain one, not a cushy comforter). Take down any posters and put away any decorative items. Lock everything up and never relinquish the key, or leave it at work so he couldn't try to find it and get his stuff.

    I'd leave him with 4 sets of clothing and when it was dirty, he'd have to wash it himself and hang it himself or go without clean clothes. I would make him get all his own meals and take care of his dishes. Food will be real food, no meals out, no junk food, no dessert, no convenience items. He may eat healthy nourishing food, but absolutely no treats for one month. If he does not take care of his dishes, I would box them up and stick them in his room until he does. I would leave him with a few books to read in his room and a list of chores he needs to accomplish. If he accomplishes his list for the week of chores, than he may earn 30 minutes of TV for one day or 30 minutes of game time for one day, and never both. I would also find some remedial books in the subjects he has failed and assign him 2 ours of daily homework. He also must read a book for one hour every day. This should become a looked forward to privilege, since it is the only one he will be allowed. Even if chores are done, if daily homework is not done, he will not get his 30 minutes of entertainment privilege.

    Any time he speaks to an adult he must use his manners, saying please, thank you, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am. He must ask permission for everything he wants to go and do, (including going to someone's hosue and using there equipment) but for the first month he is not allowed to do anything outside the home except go for a walk. No allowances, no access to money he might steal to buy stuff on his walk. No friends.

    If after a month of this he has done what he is told and been respectful, then he can start earning his things back. Not quickly either. One item per week for respectful behavior and all rules followed. No exceptions unless he is ill.

    This will not hurt the boy, he is 16 and may think it is the end of the world, but if the mother stuck to her guns on it, I think she would end up with a child who did not take her for granted and did not think the world owed him. He would learn just how privileged his life had been and become thankful.

    It's amazing what kids think they can't live without. Show them what they can live without. Or better yet, don't let them get so in control in the first place.

    Anyway, that is what I would do. I know for a fact it works. It worked on my sister when she was out of control. And she is grateful for it now.

  4. miclason Says:

    LOL! Robyn, that is the same speech I have been giving my cousin for years now!... and she has tried (or so she claims) once or twice...but, the problem is, she lacks consistency...for example, the last time she tried this, he washed dishes twice and manipulated her by saying: Thank you, Mom for all the stuff you do for me, I really appreciate it, and I'm sorry about (insert misdeed here)...and that did it! the next day she was doing everything for him again!...My daughter is pampered, I won't deny the same sense that I was: we have a maid to help pick up after us, to make our beds and wash/iron our clothes...but, just like I did, Ale knows her primary responsibility is studying and, if she doesn't comply with that, she loses all her privileges!...if she is disrespectful, she loses all her privileges, too!...she knows about consequences to her actions (both good and bad!)...and, whenever there is no nanny (weekends, holidays or when nanny is sick) she DOES help (with the cooking, washing dishes, setting the table, stuff like that)...she is also very aware of the financial situation at home and, while she does try to get away with as much as she can whenever there's extra money, if I say no, she understands and doesn't give me any attitude (hey, you cannot blame her for trying to get pizza if we go to the movies, for example...but, if I say no, that is the end of drama, she just accepts it!), I don't know how she'll do when she's a teenager, but I'm hoping that the foundation I'm trying to give her now will be strong enough to get us through that difficult period without killing each other or without any of us having to be taken to the looney house!!...She might be a Princess, but, she knows even THAT comes at a price! (the charge DOES have it's responsibilities!)
    And, mind you, Ale just turned 6!

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