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Home > Time to part ways! ***WARNING: LONG BORING RANT!
 

Time to part ways! ***WARNING: LONG BORING RANT!

April 23rd, 2010 at 09:24 pm

Ale and I REALLY need to get out of this house. Things have gone from bad to worse (in my view)...Donīt get me wrong, I knew things wouldnīt be easy when I accepted my nephew in the house (recovering addict). While he is no longer doing drugs (that we know of....at least, there are no noticeable signs, nor paraphernalia or anything like that) He is just completely irresponsible.

I know that that is in part because nobody (except myself) seems to have any real expectations of him... All my sister expects from him is 1. that he stays alive 2. if possible, that he doesnīt do drugs...

Besides those 2 things, I expect him to be productive, to have a job, any job or, at least help around the house and, definetely, I expect him NOT to steal stuff from the house!!!

He keeps stringing my sister along, after all, we believe what we want to believe!... He looks for a job, finds a job, keeps it for about 2 weeks to 1 month, then loses the job and goes back to looking for a job (the cycle is 3 months/ 2-4 weeks/ 3 months)...so, when heīs "looking for a job" (no doubt praying not to find one), sis doesnīt want to kick him out of the house because "he's looking, he has nothing, he'll go back to the streets and back to doing drugs" and, once he lands a job it becomes "I just want him to have at least 2 months at work so he has enough money to pay rent somplace else so that heīs not back on the streets/doing drugs"... which, of course, never happens!!!

ENOUGH! On top of everything, he eats A LOT (sometimes, when he craves drugs, instead of doing drugs, he just eats like a ravenous wolf, ok, I understand that, but... does he have to be dirty, too? Sis doesn't see it, since Ale and I are the first ones to get up in the house... I refuse to eat in filth, otherwise, Iīd just leave the dining room looking like a pigsty so she could see, but, eating next to crumbs, or even chunks of "midnight snacks" just turns my stomach!)...I think the last straw was that heīs been drinking Aleīs soy milk!! (I buy the individual boxes for her to take to school, as it is more convenient. I tried using reusable containers, but, she just makes an awful mess!)...what infuriates me is that I buy a six pack, I instruct Ale NOT to touch the individual packages, and, she actually obeys me...what kind of message am I sending when all that happens when HE drinks it is that my sister goes out and buys a replacement?? Oh, yes, everyone else can get away with it, but YOU must obey! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE that! You have no idea how mad I get!!!

Oh, sure, sis yells at him and then he acts all offended (You never TALK to me, you just YELL at me!!!!!!!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)...

Really, I cannot take it anymore. I know it wonīt be easy, but, really, between the food bill and the power bill (both my nephew and my niece leave the computer and all the lights on at all times, no matter how many times I ask/tell them not to!) I know I can afford to live in a slightly more expensive house (it will even out). It might be good for sis, too, because she wonīt be paying part of the nannyīs salary anymore. Plus, it would be good for her "children" (at 25 and 21!!!) to see that she REALLY cannot afford the lifestyle they live! (No, itīs not "luxurious", but, HE doesnīt work and, SHE works, but does not contribute to the house! I suspect she is saving that money in a cojoined account with her boyfriend)

As you can see, Iīve truly HAD IT!!!....
I have about $800 and, I need about $400 more to leave. I think I can get $200 cash, but, even if I have to borrow the other $200, Iīm getting out of here!

I know my sis will have a cow, and I know sheīll cry and plead, but, right now, for me to consider living together, either my nephew and niece would have to PROVE that they are no longer leeches. How? Well, he would have to keep the same job for at least 1 year and, she would have to contribute at least $50/month for a whole year, too.

I would also consider living together again if my sister kicked them out of the house and they STAYED AWAY for a whole year! (sheīs kicked him out of the house at least on 3 separate occasion, he is always back within 15 days!... he comes back with crocodile tears "I canīt make it on my own, I need my family, I know I acted badly...boo-hooo...please, please take me back...I donīt want to do drugs again..." and, of course, she takes him back and we go back to that cycle described above....

SOOOO...since I canīt honestly expect my sister to kick her children out of the house just because I think that would be best (and, if she did, I know things would really be broken between us, she would never forgive me...even if she understood my reasoning, she would always resent me!)... then I need to leave...

((sigh)) Ok, rant over....
tomorrow Iīll contact a real estate agent and, I will start quoting the stuff that I might NEED (we have 2 fridges from when whe joined houses, but, we have only 1 stove and 1 washer, 1 dining room set and 1 living room set.... in very bad shape... both came from my house, originally, but, when we sold our parentīs stuff-- they lived with her-- that went towards paying things in the house, so Iīll leave her either the dining room set or the living room set...this, however, is NOT urgent...the stove or the washer are, though!)

May is a great month for quoting, because thatīs the sort of thing on sale for mother's day and, the sales last the whole month...

The amount quoted above would cover 2 monthīs rent at the new place, plus either the stove or the washer, as well as my part of repairs on the house we currently rent, so that, when we return it to the owner (sis cannot afford to keep this house!) it is in the same state in which we received it.

Sooooo...please wish me luck and/or send prayers and good vibes so that I find an affordable house/apartment in a safe area!

10 Responses to “Time to part ways! ***WARNING: LONG BORING RANT!”

  1. Jerry Says:

    That's a tough situation to be in, and I feel for you. The thing is, you have no insurance that the nephew will change his ways and become responsible... and the indication seems to be that this simply won't be the case. It would certainly lead me to want to leave, that's for sure!
    Jerry

  2. MonkeyMama Says:

    Yup, sounds like it is time to get out.

    Good Luck!

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Decisions like this are so hard to come to yet once the move is made I imagine you are going to feel such relief. Good luck in finding something suitable and making it feel like blessed, sweet, safe home again. Smile

  4. Ima saver Says:

    I think you are right for leaving. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

  5. Analise Says:

    I would want to get out of that situation, too, and ASAP. Your sister loves her son but she is enabling him to be a deadbeat and a loser. His behavior should not be condoned. Good luck in your house hunting... you seem to have a good plan in place and I think you will be much happier.

  6. Homebody Says:

    Wow, you have to do what is best for you and Ale. I hope you find an affordable place soon.

  7. fern Says:

    I definitely think you should not live with them. It sounds like a very unhealthy environment for your daughter on so many levels.

    Are you SURE he's not still doing drugs? I don't know what kind of drugs you're talking, but some, as you know, are highly addictive and it would seem unlikely he could kick the habit on his own unless he went to drug rehab. So if he's stealing from you, how do you know he's not using money or things he steals to get money to buy more drugs?

  8. Miclason Says:

    Oh, nothing has been "lost" lately... (at least, not that I have noticed), it's just that, in general, I expect him not to steal stuff...sis is content with him being alive and not doing drugs)...
    Last week sis was out of town and, he was "well behaved" or, at least, pretending to be, he was home by 11pm, picke up after himself and, made a big show of updating his resume. The sad thing is, I don't believe it, I just think he is faking it so we back off a bit...

  9. Broken Arrow Says:

    Wow, that is terrible. Terrible environment for your little girl to grow up in. Family or not, it's perfectly understandable to not want to live in that environment. Hope you find a better place soon!

  10. frugaltexan75 Says:

    {{{hugs}}} That definitely sounds like a situation you need to remove yourself and Ale from. I hope you find a new place quickly.

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