<< Back to all Blogs
Login or Create your own free blog
Layout:
Home > Archive: May, 2005
 

Archive for May, 2005

I WANT OUT OF HERE!!

May 30th, 2005 at 11:30 pm

I HATE IT!!! I'm sooooo mad at everybody at the moment...they think I'm a machine or something, they give me so much to do, and they don't mind if I say NO, they just give it to me anyway and pout and go talk to my boss about it!!...and, at home, with my sister unable to help, I'm practically the weekend maid!! I HATE IT!!!...on top of everything, there's never enough money...
To my normal workload, add the fact that my hard-drive "died" and had to be replaced...they managed to save most of it...except my .pst folders in OUtlook...where I happened to have a LOT of critical information!!...aaaaargh!!...lost forever, is what they tell me!!...so, now I have to scrape and ask for info that I used to have right at my fingertips!
I'm going nuts, I'm really, honestly, truly going nuts here!... I need a break...some kind of break...As it turns out, my level of satisfaction with my life, on a scale 5-10, with 5 being "sucks" and 10 being "perfect", it looks like this:

Family : 6 (DD "boosts" the score! so you can imagine!) With my sister sick, I'm chauffer, messenger, administrator, cook, maid and even provide moral support (who's giving ME moral support??)
Spiritual: 6 - have not had a prayer meeting/attended my praying workshop in ages!!
Work: -3....right now, I like my job, I just hate everyone around me!!
Physical: 6 - I'm not exercising, I'm not eating too well, I'm always tired...I try to get 3 meals a day, though, and remind myself to breathe often!
Financial: - do I REALLY need to score it?? or can you guess? -4 Creditors keep calling and things seem to be looking down, rather than up, lately!

Ever wonder why I never speak of a significant other?? Well, I don't have one and, at the moment, it seems like I will never have one...why? 1.I'm always working, so unless they start hiring some grown-ups, there's no chance (believe me, the age difference and mind-set difference is abysmal!)...plus, it'd have to be someone that likes children...2. I look like sh*t at the moment..yes, I always look tired, my hair is a mess (no time/energy/money to actually do something about it) ...and, no, I can't go out...it's too expensive for me right now....even if I go to "free" events, I have to pay childcare after 9:00pm, so...

The scores might change tomorrow, but, today, I hate my life!!

what's next?

May 27th, 2005 at 12:59 am

when it rains, it pours...how does that saying go?...the latest news is that my sister has been diagnosed with neurocystercircosis (sp??)...basically, an illness that is endemic in our countries which you can get from eating pork or from eating raw veggies that have not been hygienically (sp?) handled...the eggs of a parasite enter your body and make their way to your stomach (cysstercircosis) and, if untreated, will make their way to your brain (hence the neuro....)....they have caught it at an early stage (so we ARE lucky, after all!) ...they are affecting her motor skills...((shudder)) she's lost fine motor skills on her whole right side...so they are giving her medicine to kill off those things and are doing a series of CAT-scans...luckily, all that is covered under the Social Security medical thing...plus, they have the best equipment anyway...but, it means she has to go on disability for 30 days..and, that means that the company she works for is not obliged to pay her salary (by law), and that she will have to collect it from the social security....now, there would be no problem with this, except, the SS does NOT recognize any salaries above $690/month....so, eventhough she makes more than that, she's only entitled to $690 from the SS (minus income tax and pension fund discounts!!)...she'll get ~$400 max!!
...I already told her she'll have to pick the most important expenses vs the most urgent ones, and, pay the important ones...(my niece's school, my nephew's re-hab center fees, food..)...even if that means calls from creditors!!
In the meantime, I'm in charge of the house/children (not paying for it, but overseeing it as the sole adult in our "clan"!)....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!

the hurricane that wasn't!!

May 20th, 2005 at 06:56 pm

Well, we had a pretty good scare with Hurricane Adrian....thank God it lost strength right before it hit the coast and turned into a tropical storm...typically, we get our hurricanes coming in from the Atlantic, and touching ground in Honduras or other countries, where they get spent and then we get mostly heavy rains...which still manage to cause a lot of damage...this time, Adrian was coming straight at us from the Pacific!!...
Things got really crazy, with everyone trying to stock up in case we couldn't go out for days!!... we pretty much had everything in stock, but I bought some more water and several bags of cereal (which we will use in a couple of weeks anyway!)...I gave some water and cereal to the maid, and some powdered milk, too...I KNOW she didn't have the time to go out and buy stuff, and, I don't imagine she had spare money to buy these things, either...thankfully, nothing bad happened to her or her family!! ...13,000 people were evacuated, mostly in the coastal area...we are still on the alert, because heavy rains in Honduras might flood their rivers (which flow into our rivers) ...

discouraged!

May 16th, 2005 at 09:03 pm

I don't know....today I feel very discouraged...I seem to be putting a lot of effort into this frugality thing, and into paying debts, and it somehow feels like I make no progress...I still can't get to the point where my accounts are current, so I keep paying hundreds of Dollars and yet the debt diminishes at ridiculously slow rates (like $5 or $10 per card per month)...I know things won't get better until I manage to bring everything up to date, because past-due interest is eating away at anything I pay...I wish I could just tell the collectors to drop dead and rot in hell...but, they are only doing their job...I wish I could tell the cc companies to drop dead and rot in hell but: a) they cannot "drop dead"...they're companies...and b) it IS my own fault!! ....I don't regret it, because none of THIS debt is for sumptuous or luxury items...all this was incurred while trying to give my parents a decent living -not even the lifestyle to which they were accostumed, just decent - so I don't regret it...but it really scares me, because I have seen and suffered what happens when you don't save for the future...and I don't want Ale to have to go through what I went through with my parents...but, the way things are right now (not enough money to even pay debts, let alone for saving for the future!)...that's where we are headed...and it really worries me...ties my stomach up in knots and makes me want to cry....and, every time I seem to be making some progress (next month I will have $50 "more" when I finally pay for a small personal loan here at work), something happens that throws me back into the hole, like my car breaking down TWICE in the same month...or, the latest one: my sis is sick and needs surgery...that'll be about $1,200 which she doesn't have... ....a lot of my friends counsel me to stay out of it, if she doesn't have it, it's HER problem...but, the way we were raised, if someone in your immediate family has a problem, the FAMILY has a problem and everyone should pitch in to help...it is extremely difficult to go against something like this...so, I have discussed it with my sister and, if she can't get the $1,200 as a loan from her company, I will end up re-financing that debt ($500) to help her and she will be the one paying the installments...you'd think this won't affect me, but it does, because I had planned to re-finance the debt in October, when they give you "school loans", because I could get $700 (instead of $500) without a co-signer...which I would have applied towards cc debt...(these loans have a much lower interest rate....although the time to repay is shorter...which means you pay more or less the same...but get out in less time and end up paying less)...I HATE it when things like these happen...Some days, I wish I could just win the lottery or something...

I uploaded my resume at Dell...they are looking for an assistant to the recruiters...they are paying between $1,200 and $1,900/ month....I'm currently making $800/ month....so it WOULD make a difference (not a huge one, though, because income tax varies according to how much you earn, so right now I pay about $200/ month, and at those salaries I'd probably pay between $400-$500 per month)...but, still, at $1,200 I'd get to keep about $800, whereas now I get to keep ~$600....Please send good vibes my way!!....I could ask for a raise here but, they do warn you up front when they hire you not to ask - I know that my boss, personally, thinks this policy to be total crap, and maybe he could do something, but, still, they probably wouldn't let him give me more than 10% (policy is a maximum of 5%) and that would only put me in the next earning bracket for tax purposes, which means my effective raise would be about $20/month! (after taxes)....((sigh))

Why does life have to be so difficult!
Yesterday, we were watching a movie and Ale asked about what had become of a woman who had just had a child, and I said: she left with her husband
- TOGETHER? why'd they leave together??
- er, that's what husbands are for...
- how come you don't have a husband? You DON'T have one, do you?
-Er, no, I don't, you see...
-Oh, I see, I bet it takes money to have a husband!
-well, no. Not necessarily
-Then why don't you have one? what does it take?
-Baby, if I knew, I'd HAVE one!!

This motherhood thing just keeps getting more and more difficult!! ((sigh))

largest expense per day - week 20/2005

May 16th, 2005 at 06:04 pm

Monday- $40 / nanny
Tuesday -
Wednesday-
Thursday-
Friday -
Saturday-
Sunday -

50% off is back at St Jack's!!

May 13th, 2005 at 04:04 pm

This is a local manufacturer of clothes...they have great things for kids, 100% cotton, durable....mostly t-shirts and knit shorts/pants and pajamas....and they have Disney, Mattel and Sanrio licenses (yay!!) www.stjacks.com/ninos.htm ...twice a year, they have a 50% off sale...of course, the new lines don't get put on sale, only the "old ones" (so, I cannot get the beautiful My Melody things right now, but I will in December....and, right now I can buy anything with The Incredibles!!!) I love it that they have this sale in mid-May, because I always get DD a set of skorts/t-shirt and a pajama, which I then save for her birthday in the end of June...This stuff generally goes for around $14 for a pajama and up to $20 for a set....so I can get both things for about $17 -$20....the other sale is near November, so I buy things for Xmas ....
I will also see if they have a pajama set for me...I haven't bought myself pajamas in 4 years!! I'll update this entry later with what I buy and how much it cost!

****
woo-hoo! I bought a Princess & Pauper night-gown for $6.75, a Violet (Incredibles) glittery t-shirt for $4.00, but, the best was an Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) set of t-shirt and pants for $3.88!!!
I didn't buy anything for myself, though...but, I will try to do it next week (lowest priced one was $7.00 and the most expensive one was $9.58....the ones I want are atound $7.50...)

fought tempation....and won!!

May 11th, 2005 at 03:35 pm

I'm so happy with myself!!...yesterday night, I checked for any leftovers to take to work today, and what I found wasn't really appetizing...but I was too tired to cook, so I decided I'd make a sandwich in the morning (I HATE day-old sandwiches...they really aren't as "fluffy")...and, today, I really wasn't in the mood for a sandwich, so I thought: oh, I'll just BUY food...but then, I rememberd, I had already bought food once this week....so, I reconsidered and decided to bring that last piece of fried chicken and a bit of rice...I added the last piece of Monterrey Jack cheese to make it more appealing...I am craving fresh things lately, so I will buy an apple or something as dessert... I feel good!

Good things and bad things....

May 10th, 2005 at 08:35 pm

She asked yesterday why I hadn't included a tin of Nesquick for her milk (she likes plain milk, but loves it with Nesquick, either chocolate or strawberry)...so I said I hadn't been able to find it at the store...which is not true, I just forgot I had promised to buy a small one...so I went to the supermarket downstairs today and actually looked for it!...it took me a while to find it, they keep it in the lowest shelf (I'm guessing this is not one of their fastest-moving products here, being a "commercial" district...most people shop for small things, mostly for lunch...) ...Anyway, I found it, and brought my tin to the cashier and, after I paid for it, she gave me another one!! (I had bought a strawberry one, and she gave me a chocolate one! yipeee!!...) so, I saved $1.08 and DD has 2 tins instead of one!!
If it weren't for the stupid car breaking down (again!), this would have been a great week for savings!! ((sigh))

Money is going to be tight next month, too...Sis has to be operated on, and it has to be done this week....it's minor, to be done at the Dr's office, but, still, it will cost $800....and her insurance only covers 70% of it...and she has to pay in full first, and then process a reimbursement, so we need to get the money and then wait about 3 weeks to get it back...she's asked her company for a loan, they would get the insurance money in 3 weeks, and she would pay the rest out of her salary in installments...but they still haven't said anything, so we are trying to work on alternate solutions...

largest expense per day - week 19/2005

May 10th, 2005 at 04:00 pm

Monday - $2.50 / lunch (I forgot my lunch in my sister's car! ugh! how stupid can one get??)
Tuesday - $60.90 / groceries **
Wednesday- $50.00 / car repair (again! the water pump this time! aaaargh!)
Thursday- $5.00 / gas
Friday- $14.63 / clothes for DD (1 pj, 1 t-shirt & pants set, 1 t-shirt)
Saturday - $2.50 / fruit at the market place- watermelon, papaya and plums
Sunday - $1.50/ goodies at the flea market (went there to sell some things)

**my cousin has found a great meat supplier: the meat is tender and very high quality, and, about $0.70/lb less than the supermarket....these people sell to the hotels and restaurants only, but the owner of the place is a friend of my cousin's family, who heard about the hard times she's going through and decided to help her!...so, he is allowing her to buy the meat at cost, and has also not restricted the amount that she buys, which means she can buy it to re-sell and make a profit.... She also got us Quaker bagged cereals at $0.50 a bag...I saw them on sale at the supermarket and they were $1.83....We help each other out in any way we can...not much of a safety net, being as broke as we are...but...